When HP character go to crazy with Truth or Dare
by Juliet Short
Summary: Pretty much what the title says, even though it's terrible grammar. I'm not changing it! Some very shocking truths are learned and even more shocking dares performed! Please review! ships: DracoGinny, RonHermione, NevillePansy, LunaGoyle, aliciaHarry...
1. The beginning Dumdumdum

Disclaimer: I own none of this people. Get on with your life and leave me alone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A bunch of the characters from Harry Potter were playing truth-or-dare. Here we go!  
  
Ron: Er. Luna. Truth or dare?  
  
Luna: Dare.  
  
Sirius: (runs across room screaming)I'm not dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I'm here!!!!!!!!! Don't make me be dead! I'm alive!!! Alive, I tell you, ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: huh?  
  
Jo (author): Don't worry. He's just in denial. He'll get over it.  
  
All: who are you?  
  
Jo: That's not important! Get back to the game. And leave Sirius alone.  
  
Harry: But I'm in denial too! (curls up in a ball and starts sucking his thumb) I need comfort! (rocks back and forth while everyone just stares at him) *sniff* I need a hug.  
  
Draco: Stop crying! Will someone hug him already, or do I have to?  
  
Alicia: I'll hug him, if it will make him shut up.  
  
Harry: Thanks!  
  
Alicia: Just don't cry on my robes. (hugs Harry) Now can we get back to the game?  
  
Harry: (keeps hugging Alicia) Of course.  
  
Ron: Yeah. You said dare? Uh. I dare you to kiss. Prof. Flitwick!  
  
Luna: But he's not even here.  
  
Ron: Then you'll have to go find him. Someone can go with you.  
  
Goyle: I will!  
  
Luna: (smiles) Okay!  
  
Ron: Then go! And (to Harry and Alicia) will you two stop making out?  
  
Alicia: (stops kissing Harry) Okay. (whispers) Meet closet next door.  
  
Harry: (whispers) Okay, Love.  
  
Hermione: What's taking Luna and Goyle so long? ******************** Luna: Let's check his office.  
  
Goyle: Uh. Sure.  
  
Luna: (opens the door) Professor Flitwick!  
  
Professor Flitwick is inside his office making out with. Madam Pince!  
  
Flitwick: Er, um, hello, students!  
  
Luna: Just interrupting for a moment. We'll be gone in a jiffy.  
  
Goyle: A jiffy?  
  
Luna: Of course. (Walks over and kisses Flitwick right on the lips) Cheeri oh, then! (Luna and Goyle leave)  
  
Goyle: That was interesting.  
  
Luna: Yup. Wanna make out?  
  
Goyle: I'd love to!  
  
They skipped into an empty room and starting making out. ************************** Pansy: I guess we should just continue on without them. Who'll ask?  
  
Neville: I will!  
  
Pansy: Go on, sweetie!  
  
Neville: Let's see. Hmm.  
  
Snape: I miss you, Sirius!  
  
Sirius: I miss you, too, Sevy! But I'm her now!  
  
Snape: Hm... You are.  
  
Sirius: Yeah, so you can miss me later. Right now I have to go talk to Madam Rosmerta and see if she wants to go on a date. And if she doesn't, would you be interested, Cho?  
  
Cho: You bet!  
  
Neville: Hermione! Truth or Dare?  
  
Hermione: Truth.  
  
Neville: Uh, who have you made out with?  
  
Hermione: Do I have to tell? Okay then. Ron, Draco, Krum, Colin, and Jeremy.  
  
Neville: Okay. That makes sense. But who's Jeremy?  
  
Hermione: Just a muggle I went to camp with.  
  
Pansy: Oh.  
  
Ron: You made out with Draco, Krum, and Colin! But you said you love me!  
  
Hermione: I do love you, love!  
  
Ron: Well, if you're gonna make out with Draco and Krum, so will I!  
  
(Everyone stares at him.)  
  
Draco: No thanks, mate. I'm interested in your sister. That'll be a bit awkward.  
  
Ron: Yeah. I'll make out with someone instead. Lavender?!  
  
Lavender: But we made out last week!  
  
Ron: Oh, yeah. I'm fine then. Back to the game!  
  
Hermione: Truth of dare, Draco?  
  
Draco: Dare.  
  
Hermione: Go find out what's taking Luna and Goyle so long.  
  
Draco: Okay.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ More to come soon! Lots of more pairings and much crazier truths and very scary and funny dares. Please Review! 


	2. Drinking and Secrets

Disclaimer: I'm sure you know I don't own this junk, so why do I bother writing this? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Draco: Dumdedumdedum. Where are Luna and Goyle? Oh, hi, Ginny!  
  
Ginny: Hey, Draco! What are you doing?  
  
Draco: I'm playing truth or dare with the rest of the freaks at this school and Luna and Goyle went missing so I was dared to go find them. Want to join me?  
  
Ginny: Sure, hottie!  
  
They search for a minute or two. Then.  
  
Draco: This is getting really hard.  
  
Ginny: Yeah.  
  
Draco: Lets make out.  
  
Ginny: Exactly what I was going to say!  
  
They start kissing passionately right in the middle of the hall. Draco pushes Ginny up against the wall, but misses and pushes her up against a door. The door opens and inside the room are Luna and Goyle.  
  
Goyle: Hey, Draco! Hello, Ginny!  
  
Luna: Are you two here to make out, too.  
  
Draco: Yes, we were, but now that I found you I guess we should go back.  
  
Jo: You better go back! The others characters are getting bored and are now doing handstands. Besides, you can make out there.  
  
Ginny: Oh, goody! Let's go1 *************************** (back in the truth or dare room)  
  
Draco: Pansy. You know the drill.  
  
Pansy: (smiles) Dare.  
  
Draco: I dare you to make out with Chix.  
  
Pansy: Who the hell is Chix?  
  
Chix: Me.  
  
Jo: He's a sprite form the Artemis fowl books.  
  
Parvati: Oh!!!!!! I love those books!  
  
Padma: They rock!  
  
Dean: Cool. Just make out with him, Pansy.  
  
Pansy: Erm, okay.  
  
Chix: Oh, yeah, baby. Score!  
  
Pansy and Chix start to make out.  
  
Dean: (puts his arm around Parvati) Hey, sweetie. Are you busy later.  
  
Parvati: Depends on whether the author needs me.  
  
Dean: Well, if you can, meet me in the commom room after the game.  
  
Parvati: I'd love to. But I think this game might go on for a while.  
  
Dean: What makes you think that?  
  
Parvati: They just brought the drinks.  
  
Fred: Come get a drink! Butterbeer, firewhiskey, whatever!  
  
George: You name it, we got it!  
  
Fred: And if we don't.  
  
George: We have something like it, and once you get drunk enough you can't tell the difference.  
  
Everyone crowds around the Weasley twins. Pansy pushes of Chix. Good thing, because if she didn't make him leave her alone, this would become R. Chix followed her around, but Hermione cast the full body lock charm or whatever (petrificus totallus) and he froze.  
  
Pansy: My turn! Um, Fred! Truth or d-  
  
Fred: Truth.  
  
Pansy: Did you ever get drunk when you were underage? Fred: Duh! All the time. George and I would sneak drinks back from Hogsmeade almost every time. So, Harry? Truth or dare?  
  
Harry: Dare.  
  
Fred: I dare you to chug a fire whiskey while upside down. (Pulls out his wand and makes Harry float upside-down in midair. George hands Harry and fire whiskey and every starts singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall till he's down with the beer.)  
  
Harry: Done! (Fred drops him on his head right in the puddle of fire whiskey on the floor) Ow. George! I choose you, Pikachu!  
  
Everyone stares at him.  
  
Harry: I mean, I choose you, George!  
  
George: Dare!  
  
Harry: (Looks around) You must, er, (Grins) You must lick Crabbe's feet.  
  
George; Disgusting! Well, if I must. (Finishes off his drink, then chugs another one) Just let me get a bit drunk first. (Takes a gulp of Angelina's drink while she's busy kissing Fred) Okay, I'm ready. (Walks over to Crabbe)  
  
Harry: Take off his shoes and socks.  
  
George: (unties his shoes and carefully pulls them off. When they don't come off he yanks with all his might. They come right off. He pulls off the sweaty socks.) Here I go. Wish me luck and save me!!!! (he presses his tongue to Crabbe's heel)  
  
Vincent Crabbe: Hahahaha!!!!! Sorry, that tickles. Go on.  
  
George: I'll try not to tickle you too much. (rolls his eyes and finishes licking Crabbe's foot) I'll be right back! (runs off and you here a barfing sound. George comes in a bit paler than before and grabs Harry's drink and finishes it off while Harry keeps laughing) Shut up, Potter. Angelina, your turn.  
  
Angelina: Uh. Truth?  
  
George: Are you a virgin?  
  
Angelina: Yes!  
  
Fred: Come on! Tell the truth.  
  
Angelina: Fine then. No, happy? Lavender: Oh!!!!!! With who?  
  
Angelina: He didn't ask so I don't have to tell.  
  
Jo (author): I know.  
  
All but Angelina: Who?  
  
Jo: I'm not telling. Neenerneener nunu!  
  
Angelina: Moving on! Oliver Wood! Truth or dare?  
  
Oliver: Dare.  
  
Angelina: Hm. All the good dares have been done-  
  
Fred: Not all.  
  
Angelina:-all the ones I feel like at the moment. So, um, Strip down to your boxers.  
  
Oliver: (pulls of his shoes, pants, and shirt) There. Now, um.  
  
Angelina: You still have your socks on. Take them off.  
  
Oliver: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not my socks!!! Not my lucky socks! Please, don't make me take them off!  
  
Angelina: Take 'em off.  
  
Oliver: *sniff* Fine, then. (pulls off socks) Padma, Truth or dare?  
  
Padma: I pick.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'll add more later. I have to go now. Please review! 


	3. Cedric's Return

Disclaimers: I admit. I am not the almighty owner of everything. I don't own Harry Potter or any of his friends. I own nothing and am therefore boring. Please forgive me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Padma: I pick truth.  
  
Oliver: Why couldn't you pick dare?  
  
Padma: 'Cause I don't trust you.  
  
Oliver: Okay, that makes sense. Anyhoo, back to the question. Um. (Seamus whispers something in Oliver's ear.) (to Seamus) Okay. (to Padma) Would you ever have sex with Seamus?  
  
Padma: Depends how drunk I am.  
  
Oliver: How drunk would you have to be?  
  
Padma: So drunk I nearly pass out.  
  
Oliver: (whispers) Looks like he'll be getting lucky tonight.  
  
Padma: Um. Okay. Goyle, truth or dare?  
  
Goyle: Dare.  
  
Padma: Go tell Snape you're in love with him.  
  
Goyle: What!  
  
Padma: (slowly) Go. Tell. S-n-a-p-e.  
  
Goyle: I heard you the first time! Ugh! Gross. Fine. (walks across the room) I love you, Snape.  
  
Snape: 5 points from Gryffindor!  
  
Goyle: But I'm in Slytherin.  
  
Padma: And I'm in Ravenclaw. (A/N: She is, isn't she? Well, she is in my story)  
  
Snape: Don't make me make it 10!  
  
All Gryffindors: B-but.  
  
Jo (author): Don't question Snape's authority!  
  
Dean: Who are you and what make you so special?  
  
Jo (author): How dare you defy me! I am the almighty author of this fanfic and I can make you do whatever I want so hahahahaha! (Turns Dan into a pineapple)  
  
Dean: (Sits, er, um, stands, um, is there doing whatever pinapples do)  
  
Parvati: Oh no! How can I make out with a pineapple!  
  
Colin: I can help!  
  
Cho: Colin! Your supposed to like me.  
  
Colin: Yeah, but you're in love with the two dead guys, Cedric and Sirius.  
  
Cho: Where is Sirius anyway?  
  
Jo: He'll be back as soon as I can be bothered to write about him again.  
  
Cho: Okay.  
  
Cedric: I'm ba-aaaaack! Did you miss me? I got bored of being dead.  
  
Cho: Oh, Cedric! You're back! I love you. (jumps into his arms)  
  
Cedric: I don't love you anymore. Besides, you love Sirius. (drops her on the ground)  
  
Cho: Ow! Yeah, I do, but he's not here. Who do you love?  
  
Cedric: I'll tell once someone truth or dares me and I choose truth.  
  
Goyle: Truth or d-  
  
Cedric: Dare. Haha!  
  
Goyle: I wasn't asking you.  
  
Cedric: Oh.  
  
Cho: Tell me who you love or I'll beat you over the head with a banana.  
  
All: Huh?  
  
Cho: I didn't mean to say banana. The author made me.  
  
Jo: Teeheehee!  
  
Cho: I meant I'll drop a troll's bat on his head, after beating him to a pulp.  
  
Cedric: Okay, okay. I like Madam Pomfrey.  
  
Pomfrey: (suddenly appears) But I don't like you. (Disappears)  
  
Millicent: But I love you!  
  
Cedric: Good! I love you too.  
  
Grub (from Artemis Fowl): But I thought you loved me.  
  
Millicent: Get over yourself.  
  
Grub: Fine. I'll tell Trouble.  
  
Millicent: And if he doesn't do anything you'll tell Mommy, right?  
  
Grub: Yeah! How did you know?  
  
Rob: Shut up!!!!!!!!!  
  
Harry: (stops kissing Alicia for a minute) Who was that.  
  
Jo: Rob.  
  
Harry: Oh. Of course.  
  
Ron: Who's Rob?  
  
Harry: How should I know?  
  
Angelina: Who cares. It's not important. Back to the game. Who did you ask, Goyle?  
  
Goyle: Marcus Flint.  
  
Marcus: Dare.  
  
Goyle: Go find Prof. Flitwick and spend 10 minutes in that room,  
  
Jo: That's too long.  
  
Goyle: Okay. 5.  
  
Rob: Much better.  
  
Marcus: (doesn't know what's going on with Flitwick) Sure. (Walks off)  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Marcus: (Walks in on Prof. Flitwick and Madam Pince) Oh my god! *Girly scream* What are you doing?  
  
Flitwick: What does it look like?  
  
Madam Pince: Want to join?  
  
Marcus: No thanks. I'll just sit here.  
  
Pince: Okay.  
  
Marcus: (watches watch for five minutes) Good bye!  
  
Flitwick: See ya!  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Marcus: That was disgusting. Anyways, Katie Bell, truth or dare?  
  
Katie: Truth.  
  
Marcus: who do you love?  
  
Katie: You.  
  
Marcus: Cool! I love you, too! (They snog for a long time)  
  
Katie: Um.. I choose.  
  
Sirius: Cho, my love! I am back!  
  
Cho: Sirius! (rushes into his arms) Does this mean Madam Rosmerta turned you down?  
  
Sirius: Actually, I decided me and Rosmerta have too much of an age gap.  
  
Cho: Unlike us.  
  
Sirius: Exactly, my love. Want to come to my house after the game?  
  
Cho: I'm not sure I can leave Hogwarts.  
  
Dumbledore: Sure you can.  
  
Cho: But I have plans with Michael Corner tonight.  
  
Sirus: Afterwards?  
  
Cho: Sure. I'll dump him tonight.  
  
Sirus: Good.  
  
Ron: End of chapter!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Please review! I gotta get ready for Halloween now. I'm a werewolf. Bye! Speaking of werewolves, I need to add Lupin to the story. And speaking of Lupin, I'm getting annoyed with the paperclip guy on word. 


	4. Ron's Not too Bright Moment

Disclaimer: I own nada.  
  
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Harry: Where were we that whole time?  
  
Jo: I had school work.  
  
Katie: Okay, I choose. who hasn't been chosen?  
  
Seamus: Pick me! Pick me!  
  
Katie: Fine. Seamus.  
  
Seamus: Yes? What?  
  
Katie: (sighs) Truth or dare?  
  
Seamus: Hm. I guess I'll be brave and go with dare.  
  
Katie: Kiss Sirius on the lips and get into a cat fight with Cho.  
  
Seamus: But isn't that two?  
  
Katie: Kissing Sirius will make Cho fight with you, so technically it's one.  
  
Seamus: Huh?  
  
Katie: Just do it.  
  
Seamus: Fine. I don't want to, but I have to accept my dare. (dramatically walks over to Sirius and Cho, pushes Cho away, and plants a huge, passionate kiss on Sirius.)  
  
Cho: Hey!  
  
Sirius: Oh, my. I didn't know he was gay!  
  
Seamus: It was a dare! You heard her!  
  
Sirius: How could you kiss someone like that and not have any feelings?  
  
Seamus: Well, I guess I'm a good kisser! Here, I'll prove I'm straight. (Grabs Cho and gives her a passionate kiss. Tongues and all that good stuff.)(Pulls away) See?!  
  
Colin: Oh my god! He's bi?  
  
Seamus: I'm straight!  
  
Sirius: Sure.  
  
Jo: His sexual orientation is not the point-  
  
Seamus: But I am straight.  
  
Jo: - of this story. Now, get on with it.  
  
Seamus: Sirius. Truth or dare?  
  
Sirius: Truth.  
  
Seamus: Who kisses better, me or Cho?  
  
Sirius: Why do you want to know if you're straight? What difference does it make what a guy thinks about your kissing?  
  
Seamus: Hey, you kissed back!  
  
Sirius: Did not! And Cho kisses better.  
  
Seamus: Okay then.  
  
Hermione: (A/N: By the way, Hermione and Ron have been kissing and talking most of this time. I just haven't felt like including them.) I have to go to the. bathroom. (glances meaningfully at Ron)  
  
Ron: (oblivious) Okay, honey. Hurry back!  
  
Hermione: (raises her eyebrows and nudges him) I'll miss you. (sees Ron, being the genius he is, still doesn't get it) Come on so we can privately make out! (the whole room hears her)  
  
Ron: Oh, yeah. (winks)(tries to act normal)(to everyone else) Uh, I'm going to get something to drink.  
  
(They both leave.)  
  
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Okay, I know it was kind of short, but I've not been in a mood for writing this particular story lately, and I'm just trying to get it posted. Bye! 


	5. Back from a long hiatus sp?

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that belongs to JKR**

**AN: OK, I have no idea what this title is about. Character go to crazy? Where is Crazy, and why is only one of them going there? Can't believe it took me this long to notice that. I also reread my story to remember what has happened and discovered a LOT of typos. (I turned Dan into a pineapple?)**

**Please review!**

Jo: Well, someone asked me to add angst. I'm not good at angst on command, and I'm not in a very angsty mood, but I'll give it a shot. I hope I don't end up emo instead :P. I can't believe I just typed an emoticon. Now, where did I leave off?

Harry: Oh no, Sirius is dead. I hate life! YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF HEARTLESS IDIOTS! I'm going to go cut myself.

Jo: Nice try, but I think that's a bit too far on the emo side. Especially the cutting your self part.

Alicia: Harry, shut up and just kiss me. You're a lot hotter when you aren't talking.

Ron: It's true. We didn't hang out with you for your brains, you know.

Hermione: Um, I don't really need to know you think like that, Ronnipoodleschnookums.

All: Ew.

Hermione: Weren't we playing a game or something?

Jo: Do you think I actually remember? All I know is the title says ya'll are playing truth or dare.

Goyle: Let's play dare!

Crabbe: No, let's play truth!

Goyle: Dare!

Crabbe: Truth!

Both: AH! (start fighting with those little cocktail swords you get in drinks, using little cocktail umbrellas as shields)

Jo: I think the fact that I found that entertaining means I should go to sleep soon. But first, on with the story!

Hermione: Hey, didn't Ron and I leave the room to go do something naughty?

Jo: Well, obviously the story is more interesting with you two in here. By the way, you're boytoy is an idiot. He's adorable, but he's definitely two tacos short of a combo plate.

Ron: I don't like tacos.

Pete and Repeat: Blasphemy! (go back to their boat, but, of course, Pete falls off again)

Sirius: Lupin, truth or dare!

Cho: Lupin's not here because he there are already too many characters for the author to pay attention to.

Sirius: Oh, no! Lupin's dead! AH! (runs out of the room)

Harry: What? Who killed Lupin? I'll kill whoever it was! I'll grind his bones to make my bread! (But then I won't eat it because that's cannibalism and quite creepy.) ARGH! I'll get him! (curls up in the fetal position and rocks back and forth)

Everyone else with half a brain: Lupin's not dead.

Sirius: Oh, okay. (sits back down) I choose Ron.

Ron: Truth.

Sirus: What's your secret passion?

Fred: He means besides Krum.

Ron: He's not my secret passion!

George: He's telling the truth. It's not a secret.

Ron: I like mumbles busibal teader.

Snape: Bus and ball tea, dear? What's that.

Ron: Musical theater!

Draco: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! You're a girlyman!

Ginny: Shut up.

Draco: But my toe hurts.

Ginny: We don't care.

Draco: Okay.

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**Good bye, folks. Or, as they say in Austrailia, G'day, mates! Please review!**


	6. Ron's Secret Plan

**Disclaimer: You know what I don't own.**

**AN: In response to Heather's review: I don't think I ever claimed that this story made sense. I know it's ridiculous that one person is like, "let's make out," and then the other is like, "Okie dokie!" I started writing this fanfic after reading many that are similar, so it's not like this is the only stupid story out there.**

**PS Which story did you read where Harry and Malfoy are gay, because there are at least dozens, maybe hundreds.**

On with the story!

Lupin: Draco, does your toe still hurt?

All (except Draco): Yay! Lupin's back!

Draco: OHMYGOD! The werewolf's back! Help! And yes it still hurts.

Lupin: Snape, do you have anything that'll make his toe feel better?

Snape: No. Bah humbug.

Lupin: (whispers to Sirius) You ask him.

Sirius: Hey, Sever-babe, do you have something to make Malfoy's toe stop hurting.

Snape: Of course I do. Here it is. (pulls a small bottle out of his robe and hands it to Sirius with a flourish)

Fred: Hey, guys! I came here for a drunken game of truth or dare, and , by George, I'm gonna get it!

George: What about me?

Fred: (to George) Shut up. (To Ron) Hurry up and pick someone.

Ron: Seamus.

Seamus: Dare.

Ron: Wow, one would've thought you'd pick truth after last time. You must be dumber than me.

Seamus: Just defying people's expectations.

Ron: Okie dokie, since you're such a good kisser, go kiss Snape.

Sirius: Hey!

Seamus: Why?

Ron: Because I say so. And I want to get our house points back. Prove that you're as good as you claim to be.

Hermione: Wow. I didn't think you were bright enough to come up with that plan all by yourself.

Ron: (loud whisper) I'm secretly brilliant. I just can't let anyone know, or else they'll raise their expectations. Once that happens, I'll never be allowed to slack off.

Seamus: Can I just get it over with now?

Lupin: Go ahead.

(Seamus goes over, kisses Snape, then sits back down)

Snape: 20 points for Gryffindor!

Seamus: What! That's all?

Draco: Haha! You're a loser.

Seamus: Ginny! Truth or dare?

Ginny: Wow, I thought you all had forgotten about me.

Luna: Speaking of forgetting, when was the last time I appeared in the story?

Goyle: And why isn't the author talking?

Alicia: I guess she got bored. Or maybe she's just too tired.

Ginny: Whatever. Truth.

Seamus: Am I the only one who has any balls around here? Well, I guess you girls don't _really_ have any, but you know what I mean. Uh, truth. Truth. Truthy-truthy-truth-truthy-thruth-truth. Do you still like Harry?

Ginny: Of course not. He's an emotional twit.

Harry: I think I'm offended.

Alicia: No you're not.

Harry: Oh, really? Good. Being offended takes so much effort.

Ginny: My turn to choose!

Lupin: Wait until the next chapter.

**AN: I can't post this right now because the website is being stupid. Argh.**


End file.
